Most of you may know this, but in case you didn't, I am in college to become a history teacher. I was scheduled to graduate in May of 2011, but I did not pass the Praxis exam, so I could not student teach nor graduate. Another semester came and as I continued to take the Praxis and continued to not pass it, August came. And that meant another semester of not student teaching or graduating. Y'all, I literally thought I had lost my mind. So many emotions came over me. Have I missed something? Will I ever see a diploma? Is this even worth it? Does God have something else in mind?
I pulled myself together and realized that I needed to be thankful for where God had me. I have a wonderful job that supports me and I am still young. Graduating at 26 is not a bad thing, and I still have lots of life to live, and I need to enjoy this season of my life rather than letting it pass me by while I wait.
One Friday afternoon, my boss walks in the door and calls me back to his office. In 2.5 seconds I was informed that due to the slow business, that beginning the following Monday, my hours were being cut from 40 down to 15. Yes-15. As in barely working. In 2.5 seconds, my stable mindset was all shook up. Like how was I going to survive off of that many hours? And who even does this kind of stuff? Why in the WORLD is nothing fitting together?
The Lord is so good.
I began looking for other jobs to supplement my income, but nothing seemed right. My heart would not let me take a full time position while knowing it was only temporary. Afterall, graduating was on my top priority. My boss increased my hours slowly, but honestly I believe it has been the Lord who has taken care of me because I haven't had to worry about one single thing this whole time.
And this is the best part.
On September 17th, I took the Praxis ONE more time. I paid the $150 ONE more time. Y'all, I was so over this test. This was the 9th, yes NINTH time I had taken it.
Fast forward to Tuesday, October 11th. Score result time. I had told myself that I was not going to get upset if I didn't get a passing score. I was just going to get on the website and look at the score and move on. Keep in mind that I was half asleep (because it was 6:30 in the morning) and I was a nervous wreck, but I was trying to keep it together.
154. Yep, that's the score. And that's a PASSING score! I literally started screaming & crying in the same moment. I cannot describe the excitement! This meant so much more to me than a passing score. This meant that I was going to graduate this upcoming May. AND this meant that I was this much closer to a dream that I have had since I was a little girl. This meant that God had not forgotten about me. This meant that His plans always prevail. This meant that the ministry that I felt God had called me to do through my degree was finally within reach. The number 154 was a number that opened up doors for me to go and be and do what God had called me to do. (You can read more about my dream here )
I say all of this to say that I believe this struggle did not happen by chance. I have said before that I believe God has called me to the classroom to be an encourager. To encourage students to not give up. To believe in their dream. To have a plan. To keep fighting even when you feel like you can't stand. And I have walked through that process. My words will not be empty with no meaning. They will be coming from someone who knows what it feels like to fight. I feel like I have conquered a battle--and that makes it so much more special to be able to tell a classroom full of students that they too can dream. And with a lot of determination, their dreams can come true.
Now, these have a whole new meaning to me! :)
Thanks y'all for praying for me!!
